![]() I’m watching the impostor from the outside, powerless to fight him off and show everyone the real me. Where did I go? I ask myself in these moments. Someone who looks just you, but acts like someone else entirely - mostly, a lot of blank stares and fidgeting and not much interesting to say. When I’m feeling anxious, I often feel my normal self has been replaced by a crafty impostor. Think of the difference this way: Positive thinking might turn my thoughts to abstract ideas like being happy and feeling joyful and having an imaginary thing like falling in love happen to me positive reality-based thinking turns my thoughts to tangible things I’ve recently experienced, like the thoughtful birthday gift my brother gave me, the feeling of satisfaction I get from my career, and the song I wrote over the weekend. While positive thinking hasn’t worked for me, positive reality-based thinking has. It wasn’t fun, but it was a much needed release. Depression, anxiety’s trusty sidekick, was certainly around for that occasion, soaking in the hatred. I once sat down and filled two entire pages of my journal with adjectives describing how much I hate myself. Just getting my thoughts - negative or otherwise - onto the page is a form of release, which can help break the cycle. Deep breathing techniques - like the 4-7-8 - help to quiet the negative thoughts to a point where I can come up for air and think about what’s really going on.Īnother technique that helps is journaling. Then I set aside some time to focus in on my thoughts and feelings without distractions. Because when you get caught in these loops for days on end, you can forget it’s even there. The first step is recognizing that negative speak is even happening. There are a few things that, after a lot of practice and patience, have helped me break out of this cycle, though. I know what you’re thinking: turn your thoughts to something positive and you’ll be all right. It can hit me so strongly and unexpectedly that I feel trapped under its weight. When my mind gets caught in this loop, it’s tough to break out of it. A harsh, loud, stubborn voice spewing an endless stream of negativity. One of anxiety’s defining characteristics for me is self-judgment. None of this sounds like merely worrying about something, does it? It culminated in an ambulance ride to the ER and a tightness in my forearms that caused an intense feeling of pins and needles, which lasted for 2 hours until I finally calmed down. I’ve even had a full-on anxiety-induced panic attack that had me completely convinced I was having a heart attack. ![]() ![]() But I eventually realized the tightness would come and go depending on how anxious I was feeling. Other physical symptoms I’ve experienced include a pounding heart, sweaty palms, and a persistent tightness in my shoulders.Īt first I thought the tightness was related to sitting at a desk and typing all day. Sometimes it lasts for minutes - sometimes it lasts for hours or even days. With each breath I take, it feels like the sharp point of a blade is being pressed against the inside of my chest. It’s the most intense chest pain I’ve ever felt. This might sound like an exaggeration, but anxiety can manifest itself with intense physical symptoms, like sharp chest pains.
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